The holiday season can be tough when you’re single. Everywhere you look, there are happy couples. It’s easy to feel left out or even pressured to “find someone” before New Year’s.
But you don’t have to let being single spoil your holiday spirit. The holidays can be a time to embrace your independence and focus on what makes you happy.
With the right mindset, you can enjoy the season and make the most of it. Here’s how to embrace the holidays as a party of one.
Why the holidays are hard for singles
For many people, the holidays are all about connection, love and shared traditions. When you’re flying solo, the same expectations can feel like a weight. There’s the constant comparison to the couples around you—at parties, on social media or even with your annoying aunt asking,” Why don’t you have a partner yet?”
“The holidays are fraught with feelings of loneliness, FOMO and feeling inadequate,” said Adeola Adelayo, MD, a practicing psychiatrist with Banner Health. “A lot of these feelings are based on societal pressures of what you’re supposed to be doing. It can weigh heavily on single people.”
If you’re single by choice, that pressure to explain yourself or justify your relationship status can just be annoying. If you’ve recently gone through a breakup, the holiday season can bring up painful reminders of what you’ve lost.
But you don’t have to let those feelings overshadow your holiday experience.
Tips to make the most of being single during the holidays
1. Reframe your perspective
Instead of focusing on the negatives of being single during the holidays, embrace your alone time.
“You don’t have to worry about someone else’s schedule, preferences or stress about pleasing anyone else,” Dr. Adelayo said. “This is a time to focus on your own needs, wishes and desires.”
Focus on what you love about the season, like binge-watching your favorite holiday movies or baking cookies. Rediscover the magic of the season through your own lens.
2. Make new traditions with friends
Chances are, you’re not the only one feeling the weight of singlehood during the holidays. Instead of feeling like an outsider at family gatherings, reach out to your single friends.
“Create your own traditions,” Dr. Adelayo said. “Don’t wait for someone else to make plans for you.”
Plan a “Friendsgiving” or a holiday movie marathon. Surround yourself with people who appreciate your company and create new memories with those who really get you.
3. Travel somewhere new
One of the best ways to escape holiday pressure is by changing your environment. Travel can provide a much-needed break from family, friends and the constant question, “Where’s your [fill in the blank]?” It can also help you create your own traditions and experiences.
4. Volunteer and give back
Sometimes, the best way to feel better is to focus on others. Use this time to volunteer, whether it’s a soup kitchen or a local charity.
“Appreciate the fact that you have the privilege to do things that others may not be able to,” Dr. Adelayo said. “By giving back, you’ll feel more connected to your community and less focused on what you may feel you lack.”
5. Handle uncomfortable questions with confidence
Let’s face it: relatives and well-meaning friends might ask annoying or even invasive questions about your love life. Instead of getting frustrated or defensive, respond with calm confidence.
Here are some quick-witted responses you can use to deflect awkward or intrusive questions about being single:
Are you dating anyone?
“Not at the moment, but I’m accepting applications.”
“Oh, I’m dating myself right now. Best. Relationship. Ever!”
“No, I’m currently in a committed relationship with my couch and Netflix.”
Have you tried dating apps?
“No, but they sound delicious.”
“Oh yeah, I swiped right on absolutely nothing. It’s working out great.”
“I did, but it turns out my best match was food delivery.”
Aren’t you lonely?
“Only when my phone dies and I’m forced to talk to humans.”
“Only when people start asking me why I’m single.”
“Me? Lonely? No way! Just me and zero drama.”
If you just don’t have the energy, recruit a family or friend as the go-between. “Have them be a buffer or let them spread the word to the group to not ask about your relationship status,” Dr. Adelayo said.
6. Focus on personal growth
Take advantage of the “me” time the holidays offer. Reflect on what you’ve accomplished this year and what you’re excited about for next year. Whether it’s taking up a new hobby, starting a fitness challenge or even just learning how to say no more often, personal growth is something you can focus on without anyone else’s input.
7. Own your feelings…don’t be in denial
It’s important to be aware of your emotions during the holidays, especially if you're prone to the holiday blues.
"It all starts and ends with us," Dr. Adelayo said. “If you’re feeling lonely or anxious, don’t deny it. Recognize that this is something you can plan for and manage."
Whether it means planning for a quiet night in or seeking therapy if your anxiety is overwhelming, taking an active role in addressing your feelings will make a huge difference.
Takeaway
The holidays don’t have to be about being in a relationship—they’re about connection, joy and self-care. Whether you’re celebrating solo, with friends or with family, this time of year is yours to embrace. So, let go of the pressure to be someone else and focus on being the best version of yourself. You’re allowed to love the season on your terms.
